Chapter Two - Infants/Junior School

Chapter Two
INFANTS/JUNIOR SCHOOL

 I was on tenterhooks while waiting for a decision from the local authorities as to whether Charles would be able to have a place at The Pines, school. The news came on the last day of term and to hear he had been accepted into a special school was such a relief. I’d been to visit the school and felt it would be the best thing for Charles. I didn’t even have to get him there myself; it was arranged he would be picked up and dropped off by mini bus to and from school on a daily basis. What more could I ask! At least now I wouldn’t have to worry about him trying to escape from the car!

This first report from The Pines describes Charles well:

‘Charles has significant difficulties with expressive and receptive language, age appropriate learning skills, interpersonal, listening and attention skills. Charles is an impulsive child who finds it difficult to listen to adult instructions and process what is being asked of him. He also has difficulty in clearly expressing his thoughts and feeling, which leads to frustration and outbursts. He will shout out inappropriately and interrupt or talk over others. He also needs focused support for fine and gross motor development. Charles cannot easily discriminate appropriately with people, whom to form a relationship with and is over trusting. This along with his impulsive behavior makes him very vulnerable and requires that he has constant adult supervision.’

It didn’t take long before things got moving. He had a hearing test, then an eye test after one of his teachers noticed that Charles was struggling to see the white board. He had speech and behaviour therapy, a balance program for gross motor skills, including social stories. Within eighteen months he had leaned to read and write his name and string sentences together. He began sitting in Assembly for longer, taking part in activities and show casing them at school. He even stood still for a short period of time with other children for his first Christmas play singing, whilst holding hands with his classroom assistant. It was all such a move forward and in such a short time. A sparkle had returned to his eyes; the confused and unsure look had disappeared.

There were also regular meetings to support both of us, and so many more positive updates.

Seeing other moms in the same situation made me realise I wasn’t alone and, as scary as it was, just being there with all the dedicated staff made me feel safe and welcome, nothing was ever too much trouble for them. It was amazing, not just for Charles but they gave me a much needed life line as well.

By 2005, year two, Charles was making great progress and academically he needed more so it was suggested that he take part in a satellite provision at a local mainstream school, two afternoons a week studying English and Maths, which is what he did.  I wasn’t expecting him to be able to go mainstream at all so was absolutely delighted when he did.

Topcliffe Primary School

He was introduced slowly and his original classroom assistant, Mrs. Pam Bartholomew from The Pines went with him, working with him on a one-to-one basis initially but withdrew over the years as he became more independent. Time was built up gradually at Topcliffe so that Charles was doing full-time by year six but still returning to The Pines at lunch time every Friday.

     

By now his speech was improving but obviously trying to keep it in with subject conversations with people was quite another matter. Charles was a sensitive child and began giving everyone bear hugs and adored messing with girls’ ponytails. He had to learn about giving people their own space and keeping his hands to himself. Understanding that it was only family he could hug took a little longer.

As time went on Charles formed some wonderful bonds with adults/children at the school and he developed a great sense of humour, but his good nature left him open to bullies. He desperately wanted to make friends and would do anything to please, even obeying the less desirable children.

Charles became worried about bullying. He said that a lad in his class helped him a lot until the others lads’ gang were watching, and then this particular child would start bullying Charles. He said he understood and knew that the other lad didn’t want to be mean but didn’t want to fall out with his other friends either. He knew that by befriending Charles these other boys were laughing at him. Now, even though this was uncomfortable for Charles he understood why the other boy was doing it or so he thought at the time. I thought at first how brilliant Charles was to sort this out for himself and how forgiving he was of the other child because he said that he did actually like him as a friend. However, it dawned on Charles later that this child was to be avoided and that he wasn’t a friend after all. Negotiating these skills in a controlled large main stream school was hard but I think these lessons have served him well in the long run as I will mention later in the book.

This is something I found in Charles’ work. I don’t know who the author is or where he got it from but he said it explained how he felt at the time.

Anger

Anger is red like a volcano erupting.

Anger tastes hot like red chilli peppers.

Anger looks like a bully.

Anger feels like wanting to hit something.

HOME/SCHOOL DAIRY

When Charles was at primary school I was given a comment book for me to write messages in and for the school to give me information. Here are just some of the wonderful and sometimes worrying messages I received from his classroom assistant, Pam.

07.11.06

Charles was playing with two girls at lunchtime. There was a disagreement and Charles punched one of the girls on the nose. We’ve tried to tell him to have kind hands and it’s better to ask a dinner lady to sort out any arguments. Please can you have a word with him as well? Thanks, Pam.

05.12.06

Charles kept to the script for the first two jokes in the talent show and then did his own jokes! He was great, a natural on the microphone!  He was really good and sat still this afternoon for the carol service, (He’s a bit worried about “King Herod,” who wanted to kill Jesus!)

17.04.07

Hi Karen, hope you had a good break. Charles is full of his two-week adventure in Paris, skydiving off the Eiffel Tower!! Sound very exciting, presume you also took part?

18.04.07

Hi, I couldn’t stop laughing when I read this. I wish it had been that exciting. Bless him, but sadly no, just the Think Tank, pictures and a picnic. Good imagination, though.

18.04.07

Hi, glad to know what did happen in the holidays. We’ve all been intrigued. Charles told us you had been to Kenya for two weeks, Dean is somewhere like Brazil (can’t remember exact country), and he and James were in a hotel you had found them. He went to Paris in a submarine, not the Channel Tunnel or on a ferry like any normal folk. Yes, wonderful imagination but I’m afraid the staff won’t believe a word he says in future as many were taken in by his tale. Never a dull moment with Charles, Pam.

05.05.07

Charles enjoyed Cadbury World especially when he discovers the chocolate globe – chocolate and the world globe together!!

07.07.07

Charles had a bit of an accident today; he bumped heads with another child while trying to rescue a caterpillar. He said it was white with a pink head and a blue tail and the other boy was treading on it!

05.11.07

Hi, Charles was very bubbly again this morning. He bounced in as he always does on a Monday. He did calm down though as the day went on. I hear you had another exciting weekend, fireworks at Pype Hayes Park, the assault course at Conker’s and then you all travelled the Irish Sea! Pam.