Skip to main content

Chapter Eight - Lessons




Chapter Eight

Lessons 

Charles loved learning new things and was always enthusiastic about going to school. He embraced most subjects he took, including history, science, math, cooking, music, drama and geography were just a few. He even enjoyed French and Spanish but as the work got harder he fell behind so he had to give these subjects up. He had one-to-one in certain key subjects, especially if they were practical lessons, science being one of them. He would get so excited about experiments and without listening fully to instructions would start messing with the Bunsen burner and mixing chemicals. This obviously worried the staff in case he set fire to the room. At one stage they said they may have to consider taking him out of science, but once Mrs Allen, his class room assistant, had had a word with him the school gave him another chance. It was the same with cooking; he’d become so excited about the lesson and wanted to add his own ingredients to recipes or pick something so extravagant it would be too complicated to do in  school time. It’s these cooking lessons that led him into thinking he wanted to become a chef. Well, that was until he got bored with the theory side of things.  He didn’t like the idea of rules and regulations! A chef was only part of his career list; he’d gone from wanting to be an astronaut, to a doctor, a chef, a comedian, a lorry driver, to studying palaeontology and last but not least a life coach!  Which has made it quite hard for him to choose which subjects to study.
 Drama helped him with social situations and expressing himself. He often added a few words of his own into the script which always threw the rest of the cast. It was his way or the high way. He found English hard until year nine and then he began enjoying that too, especially studying ‘Of Mice and Men.’ He would read passages out in class to the point of the other students wanting him to read it out loud as he read it with great gusto. But for all his highs, lows, outbursts and misunderstandings, he enjoyed going to school. I never had a morning where he refused to go, even when things got difficult for him.
After the incident in PE mentioned in the last chapter, he had to complete a booklet about social boundaries. It covered social behaviour on a scale from 1 to 5 and how certain behaviours can make other people feel. 1, was informal behaviour; 2, reasonable; 3, odd; 4 scary; and five being physically hurtful or threatening, 5 being against the law. They called this booklet’ the book of the hidden curriculum’ and it was written by Kari Dunn Buron. It was really helpful and gave me something to work from. Charles was hoping there might have been a booklet for rules on relationships; if only!
Charles was given school passes which he could show in class and round school when he felt the need to escape. He had certain places he could go and sit if things got too much for him. The more anxious he got, the louder he would become. He didn’t like being crowded round by people when he felt like this because it made him feel claustrophobic. He trusted Mrs Allen 100% and would go to her if he needed guidance and support. She also helped other members of staff who may have been struggling with Charles. I called her our guardian angel.
Charles desperately wanted to fit in and be liked by everyone and he certainly cheered staff up as they often said that he was a joy to teach.
 Charles had to learn everything including emotions, rules, expressions and sarcasm. Even the smallest of things that come naturally to us he had to figure out and think it through. He loved making people laugh and he took it to extremes at times. I explained to him that there was a difference between making people laugh and being laughed at. We still struggle with that one on occasions.  He was very tactile and loved touching girls’ hair and continued to hug Mrs Allen. He was a very sensitive child and some children took advantage of that. Thankfully there were the few who accepted Charles for who he was and would report other children for getting Charles to do and say things he shouldn’t. One scenario was where a girl had said to Charles, ‘If you show me yours I’ll show you mine’. Luckily another child overheard and seen there was quite a crowd gathering and ran to inform a member of staff. Mrs Allen managed to stop it before it got started. Thank you to that child.
 Charles complained that year eight was his worst year for bullying. He struggled to recognise true friendships and he found it hard understanding what was expected of him. Some children were okay with him, until they mixed with crowds that didn’t get on so well with Charles. That’s when the taunting started. Charles wanted to fit in and he would put up with anything to try and gain their friendship. Thankfully those types of friends didn’t stay around for long. His true friends stuck by him and were concerned for Charles, saying that his feelings did matter and it wasn’t all about making other people happy. Mrs Allen always told him to take a deep breath and to think things through. If things got stressful for him then he was to come and find her. If he was in trouble or got a detention he would go and find her to sort it out. The conversation, or so I’ve been told, would go like this: ‘Miss, I got a bit of a problem.’ Then he would tell her very fast what the problem was, then finish with…‘but on the positive side’, to try to detract from what he’d done.  He was always honest and became anxious and loud when he knew he’d done wrong. In one meeting Mrs Allen commented that Charles had explosions of thoughts, which I thought was a lovely expression about him.  She said Charles had also commented that she was now sufficient for requirement!
It wasn’t all roses, though; he was made aware of the consequences of his actions and together they would come up with a solution or plan. He was always leaving notes behind in class, forgetting homework and sometimes forgetting to do it at all. Every child was given a planner in class to remind them of rooms, homework and dates. Charles very rarely wrote in his, or if he did he would forget to look at it. He lost quite a few as well; I know this because I was supposed to sign it each week and he could never find it.
Without actually being in school with Charles I couldn’t keep a check on everything but by reading some of his work it certainly gave me a clue. This particular piece of work he wrote made me feel sad.

My Teenage years and autism.
Hello, I’m not much of a writer but decided to tell my teenage perspective to you.
I am not much of a talker about puberty, I just let it drift by and that I don’t exactly notice it much say for a couple of spots and a want for exercise and a moustache. My social life always seems rickety. I have two sets of friends but they seem like they’re about to break at any second. For example, my friend who shall not be named always acts as though one false move and he hates me forever. One other friend who also won’t be named is always around the people who despise me so it’s awkward for me. The end.
It’s been hard for Charles navigating his way through a school day. He’s had to think through every new experience. I know for a fact he was exhausted when he got home and I made sure he kept homework at school, spending extra time at school to complete it as once home I knew we would struggle to complete it. The first thing he would do when he did get home was strip off and put his dressing gown on. Playing computer games and eating was relaxing for him and in no time at all he would be skipping and humming across the landing again.
We had regular IEP (Individual Education Plan) meetings with Mrs McCarthy, Mrs Allen, Mrs Dunkley and a few others to discuss Charles’s achievements and to put strategies in place for him. I felt these people really cared for Charles and we both felt supported.
This is one of Charles’s Health care plan statements in 2014 which led him onto the independence he has today.
SECTION A: Charles and Mr and Mrs Cornfield’s parent views, interests, Hopes and Aspirations.
My Story
Charles Cornfield
What people like about me and what I can do well.
I have a good sense of humour and I am happy and honest. My Mom and Dad think I am kind and caring. I am well motivated, intelligent, loving, considerate, funny and very sensitive. My teachers at school say I am friendly, polite, have a thirst for knowledge. I am conscientious and a hard worker. Mrs Allen says I am an inspiration to others and a credit to my family and her.
What’s important to me now and in the future?
My exams and being able to revise are important to me now, as well as getting a girlfriend. In the future I would like to get into sixth form, have a girlfriend and more freedom.
My mum thinks my hobbies and clubs I attend such as the Mac and the youth club are important to me now. The fact that I enjoy art animation, baking and computer games but also being able to relax is important now. In the future, my Mum feels a good education is important to lead to a job I want to do. For me to have more self-esteem and get my grades in exams also to become more independent and fulfil my ambitions.
School and the CAT team think having more focus and concentration is important to me now to achieve well in my exams, also knowing how to revise for my exams and to have options for post 16. My friends are also important to me know. In the future, school says I will need transition to my next phase, more help to become independent and develop more meaningful relationships and positive social interaction, particularly with girls.
How best to support and communicate with me
I would like more support from both home and school to become more independent. In particular I would like to be able to travel more independently, therefore I need support with road safety awareness and to become more familiar with my surrounding. My parents agree with this and also feel I need more support with taking more responsibility with my personal hygiene.
School and CAT say I will need support with transition to sixth form, life skills and understanding social and personal relationships in order to stay safe. ‘
Leading up to Charles exams he found revision hard. It took him along time to get started and stay focus at times. He was given extra time in his exams and had one on one as he required prompting.






Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Chapter Two - Infants/Junior School

Chapter Two INFANTS/JUNIOR SCHOOL  I was on tenterhooks while waiting for a decision from the local authorities as to whether Charles would be able to have a place at The Pines, school. The news came on the last day of term and to hear he had been accepted into a special school was such a relief. I’d been to visit the school and felt it would be the best thing for Charles. I didn’t even have to get him there myself; it was arranged he would be picked up and dropped off by mini bus to and from school on a daily basis. What more could I ask! At least now I wouldn’t have to worry about him trying to escape from the car! This first report from The Pines describes Charles well: ‘Charles has significant difficulties with expressive and receptive language, age appropriate learning skills, interpersonal, listening and attention skills. Charles is an impulsive child who finds it difficult to listen to adult instructions and process what is being asked of him. He also has difficulty i

Happy Card

HAPPY CARD Charles made a card for me and said that it was called a happy card. On the front were the words, ‘I love you mommy,’ and on the back there were several empty lines where he said I could write down what was making me sad. Then when I had finished I could give the happy card  back to him and then he’d give me a big hug and all my worries would be gone. J

2017 New beginning.

This book covers my journey as the mother of an autistic child from pre-diagnosis, through infant, junior and senior school, culminating with her son taking his GCSE exams and progressing onto university, with examples and anecdotes. It shares the journey we took from my child not speaking until he was 5 and a half years to a gregarious 18-year-old who enjoys performing on stage, rock climbing, camping and canoeing. His positive attitude, embracing of life and him fulfilling his potential will bring a source of inspiration to those making a similar journey. The book seeks to cover the emotions, the fear and devastation felt from the diagnosis, progressing through the almost overwhelming obstacles, to the joy at each achievement, helping us to become the people we are now.